Many moons ago in a galaxy far far away I was complaining to a friend. I found myself hurt, disappointed and angry at the world. I give so much and no one appreciates it. Why can’t they see the value in what I am trying to give? I’m just trying to help. Sound familiar? My friend didn’t say much, just this one, small thing that would shift my way of thinking.
“Stop casting your pearls.”
It was one of those moments, the ones that stop you in your tracks. I didn’t know what it meant, but I knew it was important. I knew I was receiving a message, a lesson. I did what I always do, I got on the internet to find some insight into this saying:
“Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and tear you.” ~Matthew 7:6
Being young, angry, and arrogant, my first interpretation of this was: I am better than them, they are less than me. They can’t understand greatness so why give it to them. Let them roll around in the mud where they belong.
It was comforting at the time; because I was angry, hurt, and fully marinating in my ego. The arrogant interpretation turned my attention inward. My focus became on self, rather than on everyone else. It began to show me the things that were precious to me. The things that I loved. The things that brought me joy and comfort. The things that brought value to my life and how I was constantly throwing them away. As my understanding grew the interpretation transformed.
The swine are not beneath you, they are simply the ones who do not share your same enthusiasm about your pearls.
Pearls are a metaphor for everything that you love and appreciate about yourself and your world. These things are precious to you. They are the things that make you want to get up every day and live life. They’re the things that bring you joy and keep you going. Just because they’re precious to you, does not mean they will have value to another. Just as their mud, which represents their pearls, may not have value to you.
Often something will have such an effect on you and your life, that you want others to see it too. You cast your pearls all over them and then feel hurt, mad, and appalled when they let them fall down in the mud and then turn and attack you for disrespecting their space.
Do you like it when people throw their stuff all over you and want you to be grateful for it? I bet you don’t.
If you know full well that you love art beyond life itself, but your mother thinks art is garbage, why on earth would you cast those pearls to her? Why would you waste your time, or hers, trying to convince her of its
value? You will feel depleted and disappointed, and she will feel annoyed and defensive. You will zap your personal power bank account and hers.
It’s not the other person’s lack of understanding, or that they are not grateful for what you give or are trying to do, it’s that it has no value for them.
~~~~ “Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.” ~Robert Heinlien
To best understand this concept, place yourself in the role of the pig, because sometimes you are the swine. Think of all the people that have ever been in your life. Think of the things, beliefs, ideas, movies, music, items, interests, and spiritual or religious concepts that they tried to share with you. How many of those things had value for you? Were you able to see the same value that they saw? How many times did you feel annoyed or as if they were not respecting your beliefs, boundaries, or your time? How many times did you cut ties with them, avoid them, or argue, fight, and defend your standpoint?
It goes both ways. Your pearls belong to you
, keep them safe. Don’t run around casting them to every person that you run into hoping that they will appreciate them the way that you do.
Just because you see value in something does not mean others will; and because they may not see value in your pearls, does not mean that they are less than.
Be cautious who you share your pearls
with. They are yours to protect, not theirs to respect.
Questions to ask:
Does sharing this have value to the other person?
Why do I feel as if I need to share this?
Am I trying to fix others?
Do I think that I have the answer for another person?
Am I disrespecting their mud by casting my pearls into it?
Protect your pearls because they are the very thing that builds up your personal power bank account. They are the things that keep you going and bring you joy. They are the things that help you get through life. They belong to you.
And while you’re at it, practice respecting other people’s pearls.